No girl is born to be a second wife as no man has come into the world to be polygamous although the divine is often mentioned to legitimize things.
Besides, who among us chose to be born into a polygamous / monogamous family, to a single mother? Some women find their "oxygen" easily and others with difficulty despite their innumerable qualities. Everyone has their own life path.
It is true that there are first ladies, called "Awo" in Senegal, irascible who are die-hard and belligerent. There are those who make scenes just for looks, greetings ... But, it's their right to refuse to share their husbands.
Moreover, in the Muslim religion, if the woman had agreed with her husband to be the unique and only wife, she has the right to ask for a divorce when taking a second wife, hence the interest for men to be truthful and courageous from the start. "Allah does not impose on any soul a burden greater than its capacity."
No need to sign monogamy for this. The word given is sacred.
You should know that the laws exist just to provide a framework. Besides, how many men sign monogamy while having mistresses? They are numerous.
The law is circumvented in several ways. In France, polygamy is prohibited. But, do you still have to be civilly married in order to be able to speak of monogamy or polygamy?
Now, being a second wife (permitted by certain laws such as in Senegal, Mali ...) should not be a choice by default. A woman must marry for a life project but not to escape social pressure, the biological clock or her status as a "social case".
You will avoid lacking consistency like those who say: "Never in second position" but, once lonely by time and special pressures, even agree to be mistresses in a submarine like the famous takku suff of Djalika from " Mistress of a married man ”.
Get rid of this competitive spirit for men! First ladies know things you don't know. Not all men are benevolent. They like novelty but get bored very quickly.
Ask any man who wants to marry you "TRANSPARENCY". Ask the real questions without batting an eyelid: his civil status, his financial stability, his moral probity even if there are professionals in the cover-up. However, monogamy does not always mean "CLOSED FOREVER" under some skies.
The religious or the cultural can take precedence over the legal. In addition, certain monogamies are anchored in contracts and other clauses.
But, man, is he able to tell his wife about it and come to terms with the law in all honesty? Is he considering having an STD check-up before marriage? Does he have the means for his ambitions?
Many men look for financially stable women to turn them into mistresses by promising highs and marvels. This means that they are far from being ready to assume financially.
A woman should not go for it with her head down believing that this is a unique wedding occasion! It's up to you to change the rules of the game.
If the great majority were demanding and not putting themselves on "sale", many men would have put water in their wine. Beware of those who denigrate their wives! These women are humans like you.
A man who denigrates his wife for your beautiful eyes should upset you. A man who doesn't respect and protect his wife could hardly put you at ease. Before putting a floor, you need a solid foundation.
Otherwise, it is doomed to failure. Now, in some countries, a man has the right to take 1-2-3-4 wives if he has the means, strong loins and moral integrity.
Nevertheless, women have the right to refuse to be 2nd or 3rd in the disorder. They all have an interest in balancing society by refusing to be the cannon fodder of male impulses.